Obedience -vs- Cooperation

The vast majority of religions in this world stress the importance of obedience.
The very word "obedience" connotates that there is someone in command and someone in submission. I made sure that I did not promise to "obey" in my marriage vow. Marriage should be a partnership- not a dictatorship.

In Christianity, it is God in control and we, the lowly worms of sinfulness and degredation are to obey and do so gladly & without question. Things are very similar in Islam. Strict adherence to a code- don't think, don't feel or vary from the status quo. I reject the idea that we are to think of ourselves so negatively. Human beings are beautiful, intelligent and complex. Yes, we are certainly capable of mischief, but also of great good.

I prefer the idea of cooperation. This concept promotes equality- a give & take relationship. Is it so awful to think of a relationship with God or those around us in this way?

As a parent, I am not barking commands and demanding my children to follow my whims and be carbon copies of me. I provide for their needs, support their development and encourage them to be responsible. I take a genuine interest in my kids. My heart is closely tied to them and a sense of cooperation has grown from this bond. This is completely different than the approach I was raised with, but I think it's working...

As a Christian, I was intent on being obedient to certain standards, but at what sacrifice? Expected to turn my back on any & all "worldly" pleasures, the list of enjoyment in my life grew quite small. Let's reflect:

No TV, no movies, no popular music, no co-ed swimming, no jeans, no fast cars, no wine, no jewelry, no sensuality, no dancing, no meat in my diet, no sugar, no caffeine.... the "no-no" list kept growing. I viewed God as an entity that takes away all joy and makes us dull. I was BORED to death at several points of my journey!! Sorry, as much as they would like to paint themselves as being more modernized and Gospel focused, there are still large pockets of Adventism that very closely resemble a cult.

Eventually, I broke away from all those restraints. Life is painfully short. A joyless life can be painfully long.

I am NOT opposed to obedience. There comes a time when everyone needs to obey to a certain degree. But I think as much as possible, we need to work toward cooperation.
I cannot MAKE myself be good. I've tried. I'm a decent person, but I make mistakes just like everyone else. I am a black sheep.

They say God is like a shepherd who seeks lost lambs. I have never felt very "sought after" in life. My parents, my spouse and many of my friends and extended family were the kind I had to pursue in order to have any kind of relationship. Eventually, a few years back I got a clue, "Hey, things were getting pretty one-sided." So I backed off. Guess what? Without me making most of the effort, it pretty much died out. It feels somewhat the same with God. When I need Him most, He is painfully silent.

There are some movies out there that make me cry. The ones where the hero saves the girl, Daddy finds his daughter, or the man is there for his woman- the way she needs him to be. Most are scripted & not based on true stories, but I think there is a part in each of us that wants to be pursued.

I have done more than my share of pursuit and have searched for a hero most of my life. Amazing people are few & far between. I've had to pull myself up by the bootstraps so many times... not whining, that's just the way it is.

God, if You're up there... if You're by chance still listening to me, I need You to make a move. Find me. Help me feel the love they say You have in Your heart for every soul. I'm waiting... but I won't wait forever. Eventually there may come a time when I, like so many others believe the Bible is just a book of wisdom & fairy-tales.

Win my heart and I WILL cooperate with Your plan.