How Long?

Two words, simple yet powerful. These were uttered by many great men. Mighty King David asked this question. Christ Himself uttered, "How long must I remain, how long must I labor with you"... Some are uncomfortable with the reality of Biblical men, but they had feelings and if you read the Psalms, you see that David in NO WAY holds back about his feelings, mistakes or struggles. And, in the midst of hard times, even the Saints have asked, "How long"?

This great questions was not asked in an insulting way. He who knew the beginning from the end, Jesus- the very epitomy of love, humility and kindness dealt with a blind nation who thought they already knew all the answers and rendered harsh judgement upon others on a daily basis.

Even the children of Israel were divided into little sects. He was often exhausted and had to retreat for quiet moments of prayerful communion with His Father. So many times, He tried to paint a simple picture of the Kingdom, but His words fell upon the deaf ears of over-zealous, highly-opinionated religious men who thought themselves wise unto Salvation.
In the end, the blindness, the discord, the hatred and rejection crushed the life right out of Him, His heart was broken by the weight of all sin.

My humble Teacher, it is I who now ask "How long"? Will You never mend this shattered heart? Is my purpose never to be revealed?? How long will You leave me to wrestle in loneliness? How long until You reach with strong arms and pull me from the waves of sadness that have overtaken me? How long will You allow others to cast judgement upon me? How long until I have a home and find laughter again??

How long?

The Prodigal...

Having stepped outside of organized religion and having spread my wings to develop my own journey, so-to-speak, I find that I relate more now to the simple teachings of the humble Christ than ever before.

I have a whole NEW take on the story of the Prodigal Son. The young boy becomes discontent with the way things are going on the farm and decides to leave. So he demands his inheritance, which the Father gives to him, knowing full well the boy is leaving and it may be squandered.

The boy takes the gift and runs with it. He really lives it up. He parties like a rock star, hooks up with a bunch of pretty girls and buys some new clothes. Things go well for a while, then the funds start running low and before long his free ride ends. He eventually finds himself with plenty of time for contemplation while feeding pigs and eating their slop to avoid starvation. It is then that he realizes his Father wasn't so bad after all.

He was a cocky and arrogant son- thought he had all the answers before. Now he is truly humble- even willing to offer himself as a servant.

I love this story. You see, I'm a prodigal and so are you. All of us have an inheritance. It is the love and grace freely offered to each of us. It is a gift that will either be squandered or developed. Some prodigals will enjoy their freedom and learn a lot of valuable lessons, while the more timid, reserved brethren stick to the routine, slaving away back on the farm and gritting their teeth, obediently keeping all the rules. The good news is that the Father- who represents God- loves and values BOTH sons.

The prodigal was not afraid to ask questions, to see how things are and figure life out for himself. He goes out and tests the waters and ends up finding the depth of his fathers love, devotion and forgiveness. Guess what? He does not come up abandoned or disappointed. Not only does the Father welcome him back, he throws a party to celebrate his return.

You see, it was likely NOT the Father the boy was running from. He was running from the farm, the same ol' same ol'. Perhaps he needed a break because he felt he was being overworked and told what to do constantly. He wanted to have a little fun and test out some of the theories he had about life. He made some foolish choices and ends up falling on his face in the dirt at his Fathers feet, yes. But his curiosity has been satisfied and he knows forever more, beyond the shadow of a doubt that he is loved and belongs in his Fathers house.

We should be mature enough to allow others to question their faith. Give them room to breathe, to contemplate and explore, even to disagree on certain points and grow. Be gracious enough not to talk down, verbally chastise or shun the prodigal. The churches, the older brothers are intimidated by his kind of honesty, but why? A sincere person who searches and obtains a real grasp on where he/she stands before God is to be valued. At least in the Father's eyes...

Still Learning...

Be patient with me, I'm still learning. I don't have it all figured out.
When I was a kid, I thought I did, but everything's different now.

Don't push me too far, too fast. I'm already hard on myself.
These are truths that must come with time and not from somebody else.

What is God? What is life? What is love? You seem to know it all.
I'm asking my questions, taking a chance and I'm not afraid to fall.

Don't be critical and expect me to thank you. Don't rob me of my journey.
In due time I will reach my conclusions. I will be where I need to be.

My heart is in the right place. Whether you agree or not.
I'm standing tall, my face to the wind, I'm giving it all I've got.

So let your mind rest easy. Don't need to cry for me.
Cry for yourself and all the others who go through life so blindly.

I'm risking it all, to find the truth, I cannot just conform.
And I will stand, knowing who I am, what and Who I'm living for.